What she discovered was that there is a shorthand, a secret code, that local lesbian women use to reach out to each other. She then narrowed her search to Bujumbura. Suddenly, she realised she was not alone. She turned to social media and carried out searches for women who like women. She says it would compromise her children’s safety. She doesn't want to go into much detail about her marriage. The couple barely communicated and she dreaded intimacy.Īfter the birth of her youngest child, Nella says she began to feel like the most isolated woman in the world. Nella’s husband didn’t know about her sexual identity. And as one of the 2% of Muslims in a majority Christian nation, she felt even more marginalised. “Can you even force someone who has no rights to begin with?” she asks.Īs a woman from a country like hers, Nella says her rights were already diminished. She says she was forced into marriage, but wonders if “forced” is the right word.
At 20 she was getting on a bit.Ī wedding was hastily arranged and Nella resigned herself to becoming a wife. There was little time to lose, they insisted. They knew of a rich man who was interested in her. There was no money for an education, they said, and besides they didn't believe a woman needed one. When her parents died, Nella's brothers increased the pressure. They would introduce her to members of the extended family, in the hope they could find a match. But her family were constantly urging her to get married. When she was a teenager, Nella dreamed of going to university. But she's sure she won't be recognised, because when she goes to meet her girlfriend, she removes the hijab she wears at home. Someone who knows her family may see her. Her family don’t know, of course, and she's taking a risk meeting up. The pair met on a social networking site and the relationship is still new. It’s the first time she’s been able to introduce her that way to someone, she says. “My girlfriend,” she writes, by way of a virtual introduction. She’s sitting at a table in an open-air restaurant, her arm around a young woman whose hair is styled in thin cornrows. Her curled black hair is visible and falling on her shoulders. It’s the same T-shirt she was wearing in the park with the women. They are playing up for the camera, contorting their faces into comical expressions.Īnother photo appears and this time she is wearing loose jeans and a fitted T-shirt. She's pictured sitting on a chair with young children around her. Nella sends a photo to the BBC using an encrypted app. But there is also the danger that people within their own communities may turn on them.
“We’d be in so much trouble if people know who we are,” Nella says. The women, who are all in their 20s and early 30s, haven’t known each other long. This could be a group of friends in any park, in any country.īut this is Burundi, where being who they are is against the law. It’s an in-joke – a sign of their identity and independence. The T-shirts are important because printed on each one is a discreet, matching symbol. Most of them are wearing jeans and T-shirts in various colours, patterns and styles.
Sometimes in public but mostly behind closed doors. They meet once a month, in different places. The women are in high spirits, chatting animatedly, playfully sketching patterns on each other using body paint, and sharing a picnic. It’s a great day to meet friends in the park. Out of 100, my applications with a male name got 10 responses to interview Out of 100, my applications with a female name got 87 responses to interview The female resume got 870% more responses.It’s mild enough to kick a ball around, not oppressive enough to feel faint in the heat. Sometimes the male went first, sometimes the female went first. Made a fake resume, and responded to craigslist ads with both male and female names. So then I thought "what about someone looking for working class jobs?" So I decided to focus on restaurants- servers, hosting, etc. Out of 100, my applications with a female name got 45 responses to interview The female resume was 650% more likely to get a callback. Out of 100, my applications with a male name got 7 responses for interview. I'd send it out with my real name, then a few days later (or few days before) with a female name. So I took my CV and changed the name to a female name. It's MUCH better being a woman So I did an experiment, I work in CS and decided to test what the gender bias is. 29.6K 1.3K sent 100 applications as a man and a woman.